Supporting a couple whose wedding has been postponed.
Updated: Apr 13, 2020
Are you a bridesmaid or groomsman of a wedding that has had to be postponed? Likely you have checked in with your friend on how they are dealing with the logistics of postponing of the wedding. But since that has been resolved, have you checked back in with them?
In the grand scheme of things, delaying or postponing a wedding may not seem like a big deal as long as everyone is still healthy. However, wedding planning is very emotionally charged even under normal circumstances. As the original wedding date approaches (if it hasn’t already), couples may feel a little blue. Think about it – that day was supposed to be very special and now it will be…pretty much like every other day. Now…they will get another chance and it will be amazing, but at this point, it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
The reason your friend selected you to be in their wedding party was the unconditional love and support who have shown them. Well, there is no better time to show them some love! So take a minute, make sure their (original) wedding date is marked on your calendar and take the time to do something a little extra for them. Our ideas range from costing no money to spending that extra couple hundred dollars you just have lying around (haha). Maybe this list will spark an idea for something even more personal to the couple. Whatever it is, a little “thinking of you” effort goes a long way these days!
1. Photo slideshow from your phone of engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette party (or all)
If you haven’t done anything with all those photos you took at one of their pre-wedding celebrations, now is the time! Apple iphones have easy free options for compiling photos from your phone into a slideshow. Android phones offer a multitude of free apps for download. There are also a variety of paid apps and programs for your digital photos depending on how fancy you want to get. Whatever your medium, put the photos together, add some sentimental music and email or text it over to your friend on their date with an encouraging note.
2. Host a virtual Happy Hour
This is an easy one because video conference calls are all the rage now for both personal and business. I choose Zoom because it doesn’t require the attendees to get an account to join a meeting. I don’t know about you but I tire of having to download different apps and create a new log-in for each conversation in my life. If you are concerned with the safety features of Zoom, here is a recent Wired article with some suggestions to keep interactions secure - https://www.wired.com/story/keep-zoom-chats-private-secure/
Once you’ve decided your platform, find a time, invite your guests and pour yourself a drink! If you want to up your game, organize a fun party activity like a quiz about the couple or round of wedding pictionary. The options are endless and the couple will appreciate you getting everyone together even if it’s in a different way than planned.
3. Customize a lighthearted gift from Etsy or a small business
Who would have ever thought that “change the dates” would be a thing? Who would have thought quarantine merchandise would be a thing? Well, they are! If you have a particularly good-natured friend, they might get a kick out of a wedding postponement mug or a customized bottle of fancy hand sanitizer. Etsy is my go-to for these items but I also like to reach out to my local friends who are cricut saavy!
4. Gift Card
This is an easy one. Research restaurants located close to your couple and see who is doing take-out (and if your friends are open to that). Many businesses have enabled online gift cards that can be delivered via email. If you would like to send a card via snail mail then email it to yourself and print at home. Let your friends know they should treat themselves to a take-out dinner on their original wedding date. Even though this isn’t the experience they were expecting on this day, they will actually end up spending MORE quality time together over takeout, safe in their own home.
5. Brunch Basket
Many brides and grooms have breakfast/brunch items provided to their ready areas the morning of the wedding. Maybe you can recreate that experience for them at home! Themed food baskets are available for delivery. My favorite nationwide choices are from Wolferman’s Bakery which is in the 1-800-Flowers family. Depending on where the couple is located in comparison to you, you may be able to source a local small business. We have a great bagel delivery service near us, which would be a great choice as well!
6. A Mini Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Re-Do
This last idea is obviously on the upper end of the spending spectrum. It also depends on where your friend’s wedding party is located geographically. The idea is to gather both sides together for a co-ed night out in honor of the couple. There are tons of fun activities that will be looking for support once everything is back open. Driving ranges, axe throwing, paint nights and cooking classes are just a few unique ideas for group activities. If too many wedding party members don’t live close by, maybe you can work with the couple to add this to the new wedding week itinerary. The morning of the dress rehearsal day is a good opportunity to kick off the wedding fun a little early. For this one you’ll need to plan ahead and hey, if planning’s not your thing, reach out to their planner for help! Realize the importance of being there for your couple even more than you originally thought (within your financial means of course). Obtain the contact info of the other members of the bridal party (if you don’t already have it) to connect everyone in the coming months. Be the driving force in rallying everyone together in support of your good friends!
Hopefully this has given you some good ideas, use them or make them your own! There are so many small businesses offering creative services. The bottom line is, making the rest of your friend’s engagement special is more important than ever. Whether you simply send a nice note, “card their yard” or organize a welcome brunch, this is such a good time to renew and strengthen our connections. Many of us have pent up energy and trying to find an outlet. Why not spend some time honoring some very special people in your life? Let them know you haven’t forgotten their big day and help them make it better than ever!